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at 2:12 AM

Sad, literally sad.

Dammit, dammit.
Heart is so painful now.
Ouch ouch ouch.

I don't wanna believe in reality.
I don't wanna know that he is with that girl.
I don't wanna know that his phone and com wallpaper is her.
I don't wanna see them tgt.
I don't wanna know he did not do anything to stop his heart.
I don't wanna know everything and anything bad about him.
Because i want him back now.

How i wish time can turn back to 29 september 08, when everything starts from scratch.
Without him how am i gonna recover from my sickness?
I should be happy for you, that you are happy in love, in life.
But i felt pain more than that, because i know the happiness is not what i gave.

Naux LJ's quotes
- If you love someone, put their name in a circle and not a heart because, hearts can be broken but circles goes on forever.
-Make a girl laugh hard, your half way in getting her heart already
"Let a girl smile her most natural smile, your heart is hers to keep already"


at 11:53 PM

Hello, blog.
If i have the mood later on, i will blog some photos.
:)

Bahhhhhhhhh.
29 is ending in 7 minutes.
:O
End of pain, i hope :)
But aug 16 is approaching.
Hahahaha, how am i going to celebrate?
Dammit.

Family is going to malaysia, leaving me and dad behind.
Lol, doesn't really matter anw.
Just hope that things will turn out well for my birthday.
Not too much sadness, i suppose.
:)

Heart pain today?
Not so much.
Because of the concerns he made, about my health.
But he denies that, stupid bastard.
I love calling him bastard.
Because he is the only guy i love.
And he started calling me bitch.
Who cares, because he is the only one that can makes me happy.
Dear, luv hearts you many many.
:)
Miss the times that we have with each other.
Saw this guy who wore A|X belt, thought of you.
How great.
I really suck at expressing myself.
Well, sorry.
Love you. :')
I need you.

Stay tune for my peekchas post.
Love ya all.

Ohya, clock strikes 12.
Bye 29.
Hello 30.


at 12:24 AM

Its the 29th today.
Its supposedly my 10th month with Victor.
I miss him.
By just writing the 28, my heart seems like it was kenna poke by 3 needles.
What if i write 29 now?
Isn't it 10 needles poking together?
And the pain won't stop?
It just accumulating until i faint.
How long will all this take?
Can time past faster?
:'(

I miss you, my dear.


at 1:38 AM

Things change so fast.
Why can you change so fast.?
Idk, you make me happy at the tip of the mountain,
next thing you make me drop all the way down to the foot.
I really love you, i really need you.
I want you back, )':
Baby, baby, baby.
No matter how long i have to wait, i don't mind.

Victor Kang Hong, me luv hearts you, a lot, a lot.
:')


at 11:54 PM

Helloooooooo.

Went to his house to eat dinner.
Helped his mum to skin the potatoes, to pluck the beansprouts.
Hahahaha.
When he reached home i think he was 'Huh?'
Like i was there.
Uh huh.

Went into his room and chit chat, a lot.
Talk about a lot of things.
What i thought, what he thought, etc etc.

(Deleted due to ______.)


at 1:49 AM

Hi.

I just finished writing a letter to him.
:')
I really really wanna tear,
but it just don't wanna get out.
Its 1.50AM.
And he's not online.
Oh man, where are you, my dear.
I miss you a lot. :(
Tomorrow after school, go home, rest awhile, bathe, go out.
To where?
To his house to eat dinner.
Hope he is there, but as a friend.
I miss him, a lot.
17 days.
:')


at 1:15 PM

Saturday :

Okay..
Basically rotting at home, catching some sleep before the weekdays come.
Lolol.
So what else did i do?
Hahahah nothing actually. -___-
Oh, and i started to msn victor alrd!
:) :) :)
Still friends right! ^^
Hehehehe.

Okay, photos and videos coming!


Live life to the fullest. :D

Hmm, i think today i just spend myself at home rotting. :P
Tatatata!


at 11:45 PM

Okay hi wassup.

Thursday :
Hmm, actually nothing really happen.
Just that.
ITS TEY ZEE YEE, YVETTE LIM XIN YING, AQILAH AND SHARMAINE'S BIRTHDAY.
Ohkay, make some wish for them.

Tey Zee Yee :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAH OKAY.
SLIM DOWN LAH BAOBEI. MUACKSMUACKS.

Yvette :
Girlfriend!
Love you ok! <3
Bahhhhhhh.

Aqilah :
Happy birthday!

Sharmaine :
Happy birthday, but i bet you won't see this. Hahahhaa.

Went to KLP to celebrate yvette's birthday.
Didn't turn out quite well.
Next time help you celebrate again!

Friday :
Dental appointment, fucking long.
D:
Went CO awhile..
Then went to Orchard with Junlin.
Got a Best balloon.
But the balloon became smaller and smaller and nothing when i am on the bus home. -.-
:)
K nothing to say liao.

SORRY AH, i very lazy upload photos and videos.
When i have time lah k. :)

Buhbye!


at 7:42 PM

Hihihihi.
Today had a small talk with Ms Ong.
Hah.
Then PE, talked to Kokhua and Gujuan :)
Thanks. :)

Hmm, didn't really eat during recess.
My stomach just feel no appetite no matter how hungry i am.
:O
Hmm, then after school went Bedok Reservoir KFC to eat.
Zizhong, zhongyong, tey, haikal, hazel, remy, wes, anh.
Lol.

Zhongyong fucking found a gold ring inside the drain.
:O
Haikal went down to take.
Video will be post soon.
Hahaha, hope it can worth $! ^^
Hehehe.
Treasure hunter :O
:P
Now back at home, i wanna nap soon. Blah.
:)

My heart damn pain today.
Idk why. I wanna stop it, but i can't.
Thanks Mr. Amit for the comforting.
Thankyou.
Comforting and assurance is what that can make me put the load down now.
:D


at 1:40 AM

When curiousity gets out of hand,

My hand felt itchy.
I went to try his password on Facebook.
I went in the first try.
Is it fated? Or what?
Get nothing.

Went to his msn.
Same password.
Initially, his 'A special someone' category was me.
Now it become another girl's email.

Went to FB to search for the girl.
Saw her face.
Older than Victor by 4 years old.
Hais.

Called gan-ma(his mum), she say he is like that.
Too playful, when time past he will know.
And they won't last, look at the age gap.
I mean, a guy older by 4 years old.
Can say lah.
But girl? -________-

Called yvette, thanks girl.
<3 talking to you.
But don't shoot me lah )':

I cannot cry, i MUST not cry.
I must pull myself up.

The important thing i need now is.
Time.
Time will say everything.
Time will blindfold people up in their fantasy.
Time will stop for me, not him or her.
What you gave to me, i hope you will get it back.
Retribution.


at 4:32 PM

Hi. :P
Ok lets blog about sunday.
Hahahaha.

Went to yvette's bbq! :D
Haha, met new friends.
Huiqi and Huihui.
Hellloooo! ^^
Played games, vs jokes/riddles with wenfeng and huiqi.
Lol.

Then cut cake! :D
Hahaha. :)
Accompany her to swim.
But i only get myself down, not swim.
Then chit chat a lot.
Thanks baby :)

Went home by Yvette's sis carrrrr.
Hehehe.

Monday :
ALRIGHT.
Cried until my eyes pain ):
Haha.
After school went to find Victor's mum to talk about our r/s.
Hehe. I feels good now. :)
Don't ask so much k! Haha.

Today : Wtfomg.
Stupid Mr. bean guailan me. !@#$%^&*
I never even do anything. ):
Bah.
Haha, supposed to be in school for enrichment.
But nope, i am tired.
And i wanna pack ZY's present. LOL.
He will be happy for it LOLOL.

Purpose of private this blog is so not to let victor see. :)
Tata!

Don't pin too much high hopes.


at 5:45 AM

Just finish physics touchup thing.
Kinda tired now.
Feel like early departing later?
Hahahaha.
K i gtg now.
Bye. :)


at 5:06 AM

I know i shouldn't be up here in this hour still blogging..
But i got woke up by a nightmare.
And i can't get back to sleep. :'(
My father now is beside me.
Tell me don't go school tmr if not no energy.
I say nvm.
He say if liddat i need sleeping pills. ):

Dammit.
DAMMIT.
DAMMIT.

My life is so fucked up now. :'(


at 3:20 PM

A simple advice you gave,
let me go nowhere.
But i am sorry, this became a habit.
And i don't want it to change. )':

Slight bit of change.
Meeting Kokhua at 530.
Dammit. What can i do now. :O
Hahahaha.
Sian sian sian sian sian!

Haha, ohyah.
I CAN DO HOMEWORK.
Wtf right. -____-
Lolol.
IDK LAH.
I JUST FEEL LIKE BLOGGING.
!@#$%^&*()

K bye. ;)

P.S : Look at the cupcake beside!
So cute. I wanna eat them. Yumyum. ;)


at 12:14 PM

Pinning too much hope won't heal.
But i really really do miss you..

Hello.
I just woke up! ^^
Alone at home now. :O
Mei coming home soon from tuition.
Yeap.

Later 430 meeting Kokhua at parkway to buy present for Yvette.
Then to Katong for her bbq!
Then meet shuting also ;)
Hahaha, i just can't stop blogging now.
Because i really really got things to say, for him. :')

Gonna facebook now!
Ohyah, Cherilyn(a online friend, but we're close!) just called me.
She's going back to canada next sunday..
So we're going out on Wed after school together!
Yayyyyyy. Eat good food eat good food! ^^

(L) you.


at 2:27 AM

Rooftops by Lost Prophets

When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say we've had our fun?

Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out.

All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now, I'm set

Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out.

[x2]
Standing on the rooftops
(Wait until the bombs drop)
This is all we got now
(Scream until your heart stops)
Never gonna regret
(Watching every sunset)
We'll listen to your heartbeat
(All the love that we found)

Scream your heart out [x3]
Scream your

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your

Old song, i guess, but i like ;)



at 2:23 AM

2 weeks, since i see you.
2 weeks, since i hug you.
2 weeks, since i kiss you.
Everyday without fail, missing you.

Hi.
Sorry for the girly template lah ok.
):
I can't find anything else but this.
D:

Out with Jeff, Matt and Naux was fun, everytime ;)
Just that Jewel is not with us.
Dammit. Hahaha.
(: Naux rock fucker.
Hahaha.
Everyone rocks.
Omm what?
):

Haha, is 2.23 now.
Gotta head to head.
Gonna stare into the sky awhile more. ;)
Tata!


at 1:27 PM

8 days since you left.
Ever thought of being back?

Hello blog ;)
Yesterday had a not so meaningful outing with manjusrians.
ZZ, Richie, ZY, Haikal, wes, Zhongyong, hazeline, jieying, me, remy, nabil, anh and more, can't remember.
Lol.
And there was a not-invited guest. Lmao.

Was pissed, totally lah!
Lousy coordinators. ):
That does not make my day!
Bummers.
):

Wanted to watch Harry Potter And The Half-blood Prince.
I 100% guarantee no seats, they still want 硬来.
-.-
Then we went to eat at yoshinoya.
(:
Food. Food. Food.

Hmm, head to Bingxiong's house, put bag.
Guys play bball, jieying and kimberley joined in.
Me and hazeline play with hp games.
Lol.

Then headed back at around 6+.
Totally smelly, the room.
All perspire like shit. Eeeeeks.
):

Played awhile guitar hero.
Hahaha, standing up while playing bass really makes me remind of Z2h!
^^
Rocks shit.
Went home at around 7.
Haikal's brothers are fucked up.
>< K then reached at 8. Rocks. Hahahha.
LAZY BLOG LE LAH.
Buhbye. ;)

Going out later, to tiong! Midway party. Rocks. ^^

Me miss you.


at 12:50 AM

Always looking into the sky to find stars.
Always looking out of the window to see if you're there, like how you surprised me in the past.

Hihihihi.
Promise going to sleep soon le lah.
Haha.

Hmmzxzxzxzx.
Was browsing blogs.
The usual blogs i always read. Lol.
Always find the couples are so sweet.
Hahahaha.

I know no matter how sweet they can be, there will always be quarrel.
True what. ):
People say quarrel is a way to get to know each other more.
But too much of it is the key to breaking up.
I don't like that.

I once find myself sweetly and in love with a person.
It was sweet, of course.
Friends around me find no word to describe me in love. (:
Because its too sweet lah dey. Lol.
But there were also misunderstandings and quarrels.
Who like that.

How i wish i can be in love again, with the person who stepped into my life for 2 years+.
Hah, fat hope bitch.
Just hope so, hope so.
(Don't pin too much hope bitch, gets you nowhere but more pain.)
My birthday wish of the year:
-To see Victor living life better than me and if possible, dig me out of the life i am in now.
-Friends to be good, studies well, health good.
-Family to stay healthy, and be happy.

Sorry if this blog is so ulu. )':
I didn't mean to.
I wanna change blogskin, but i am lazy.
I am also sorry that i keep mumbling to myself in the post. ><


at 10:50 PM

One more month to my birthday.
Will i be lonely like how other years did?

Hi. ^^
Blogging bug back.
Lolol.
I came here, but i forget what to type.
Ohyah, I have PMS. Rocks.
-_-

After school went to the bbt shop behind school with Hazel.
To eat ice cream waffle.
So we sat down there for 1 hour plus i guess.
We gossip, a lot. :P
I told her what i was craving too, and she was stun. LOL.
Eh secret lah secret lah k hazel.
Thanks Hazeline for walking with us too ^^
Bah.

Walked to the bus stop then i was kupping my hand on hazel.
Asked her be Victor for awhile.
Lol.
I kept asking 'Bi, where your pacs and muscles gone?'
Hazel said 'Oh, i went Nepal and slim down.' Something liddat. -.-
Then i asked 'Why you got bageh?'
She 'EH.'
:P Love to disiao her with her teeth.
Rocks, but she love her teeth anw.
Next year your birthday buy hammer for you :D

I wanna watch 20th century boys 2!
Initial plan was to watch it with Victor.
Wonder if it can happen. (':
Today's the thursday.
Tomorrow, 7 days since you left.
Missyou, baby.


at 1:12 AM

Hihihihihihihihihi.

Sitting beside TeyZeeYee is a curse man.
Hahahaha.
:P

Currently trying to rush for the stupid Physics hols assignment.
Want sleep leh. ):
Lol.
Oh and btw.
See what Haikal Chong Bing Xiong write in the chinese compo.
Its about 'My Neighbour'.
Suck man he.

我的邻居是一个美女， 她有很长的头发， 胸部很大，腿也很细， 有性感身材。 我很喜欢她，因为她很美。 她也是我的女朋友，我们会每天一起上学。 因为她很美，其他的男人都在和我抢她，但是我知道她是不会离开我的，因为我很帅。 她也是我的未来老婆。因为她很美，我每天都在想她，她害我得了相思病。很多人都想知道为什么她不离开我，我就回答，因为我是神！

Direct translation : My neighbour is a pretty lady, long hair, breasts very big, leg also slim, with sexy figure. I like her a lot, because she very pretty. She is also my girlfriend, we everyday go to school together. Because she is very pretty, a lot of guys wanna fight with me. But i know she won't leave me, because i very handsome. She is also my future wife. Because she very pretty, i everyday think of her, she make me got love sickness. A lot of people wanna know why she won't leave me, i reply, because i am GOD!

Idea is there, lol.
Credits to Hazeline too! :D
Slap Haikal chong please.
Lol.

Gonna sleep soon.
Nights!

How are you, love?


at 10:49 PM

Forth day since you left.

Mood has been better with the help of school and friends.
Keeping me busy and not think too much..
But still, you're always there, hiding in my heart.
Are we getting back? Or not?
Its okay, i give you all my wishes yah.
Everywhere has our footprints.
Today i was taking bus to tuition,
i past by the petrol kiosk that you pumped the bicycle with air in the midnight to cycle.
Teared + mood was alrd down before i went out the house.
Will you come back?
I am waiting for our 1year.
Your present still with me.
Our photos still in my memories.
Smses, msn.
Bearbear and eeyore needs both of us.
Memories of us, memories of you.


The road of mine, with the presence of you. at 9:50 PM

The road of mine, with the presence of you.

Know you on Mid June 07, thru online game.
You said i PM-ed you, and say 'eeee, so black' and i left.
Then is you added me on msn!
We talked on phone, we msned, we msg.
Everything.
You were my listening ear then.
Then i started to develope feelings for you.
On Dec 31, our first meeting.
I saw you at cineleisure.
Although its just a short period of time, its worthwhile.
Then Feb 29, leap day, our second meeting.
You gave me what you owe me, slurpee. (:

Because of this photo. (:

Taken by Claudia on the escalator, holding the slurpee you bought.

But i took a grieve mistake, shouting something.
Took days for you to talk to me again..
And the time that we get back like how we was last time was April.
Then in June, you broke down because of something.
But i was there, with you.
And you didn't told me the feelings you had, and so i made another mistake.
On Aug 8, was F.I.R concert, i forgot to call you to go with me.
I forgotten.
If we did, will i made that mistake still?

On Sept 21, we went out, a sudden one then. Which makes it third meeting.
You owe me Swensons.
And thank god, because of that, i truly know, i can't carry on with that mistake.
We went to esplanade after our Swensons.
I lie on your leg and slept while you watched the river.
You kept looking at me, which make me shy.
I dragged you away by grabbing your hands.
I wanted to let go alr, but you grabbed it.

From that day, i know i can't continue with that mistake.
Then, EOY came, i came your house for some tutoring for maths.
On 29 sept, finally we're together.
It had been sweet, for the first 3 months.
Then, quarrels came in.
But we always get back together.
During countdown, we did it at our respective home, as you're sick.
Then your birthday, i gift you handmade presents.
I knew you love that present.
But i don't know about now.

On 22 Jan 09, its the birth of bearbear.
He became part of our relationship.
Then valentines day.
We went to orchard.
I gift you eeyore, and he and bearbear became brothers.
You gift me chocolates from chocz, and a handmade card.

What we did for those 284 days, so easily say to end and end?
I hope what you said to me are lies.
Am i suppose to celebrate my birthday alone, again?
I need you, i miss you, i love you.

Labels: Come back, will you?

at 12:01 AM

Hihihihi.
Try to keep this blog as alive as it can ok!

Time flies today :O
I think it is because i have a crapper beside me.
Sucker. -.-
Anw, after school went to eat Nihon Mura with Zizhong, Anh, Wayne, Yinkai, Tey, Wes, Hazel, Hazeline at Tampines Swimming Complex.
Turns out to be less appealing to the outlet in cathay. ):
Aww man.
Then walked to interchange and to Tampines1!
I damn kiasu, because i never walk there before. :O
Then walked like 45+ min and went home.
Pulled Tey up the bus with me. Lol.
But i slept on the bus ^^
Then to tuition aftermath.
I am tired. :O
And i need to shower. :O

Called you, just to check on your safety.
Turns out that you went out with your friends.
Wtf is with this?
Doubts, doubts, doubts.
Dammit sucker Goh Rui Yun.
Tell me, tell me, tell me.
No point running.
I rather you end this pain than to drag it.

It's shaking,
It's worry,
But what can i do.
Drained up,
Tired,
Cry myself to sleep tonight.


at 12:02 AM

Hi dead blog.
Lol.
Hi Hazeline(because i know you will read).
Hi everyone.

Today was a fine day.
Cept i was super tired. ):
I slept during English period. Dammit.
Oh and, i miss Victor. ):

Hi, -inserts name-.
You and him, machiam duplicate one.
And who is it to stop class bonding?
Don't come here crap with me (:
And FYI, i don't hate people.
Its more of disliking one person.
Hate = dislike till the stage you wanna kill this person.
Dislike = A mere 'don't like'.
Geddit well baby.
Its not about who cause this or whatever.
Its just about how the personality different.
Because i dislike how people fool around with guys. -.-
Yes you wanna befriend me, but behind my back still talk bad things? :p;/
You want to have your own benefit, your problem.
Why can't i have it too?
Make sense huh.
You got handsome and hot boyfriend, you won't boast ah.
Lmao, sure you did.
I not win, is who correct or wrong.
And, want talk, talk face-to-face.
Don't do this lame shit by blogging on your blog and putting it real small font.

Tata folks!!! ^^ <3!


at 7:57 PM

Konbanwa mina-san!

I am eating dinnnnnerrrrrrrr.
Wanton mee. Ohyeah.
Btw, started playing BvO with schoolmates last few days.
I suck at farming. LOL.
): people kill 30+ i kill less than 10.
>.<
Hahaha.

Enough of BvO.
School start for one week le.
New form teacher, new AM and EM teacher.
Lolol.
Been busy rushing hols homework. Hahahahaha.

Victor's having symptoms of H1N1.
Really hope he's gonna be fine.
But he say got red spot appearing on the hand.
No idea is side effects of medicine, or chicken pox.
-____-
Jiayou baby!

Hi.
I think you're honored to be appearing on my post.
I find it hilarious that you said you don't care about the spammer, but yet you replied 1 page + to he/she.
Oh and, speaking of your looks, it looks fine.
But, what you blurt out, is totally different.
Know this word - ah-lian-ish?
Lol. Dare to say things behind me, infront act so normal? Laughs.
I thought you self-proclaim got backing?
Hahahaha, i know i don't have.
Because what i have isn't backing.
Is FRIENDS. Lolol.
Blurting vulgarities is not good for health. Esp on spammer.
Since when then you will change your habit of choosing boyfriend?
-______-
I feel pity on the guys, only when things happen then they understand what friends always tell them are correct.
Enough, no point.
Oh and, i didn't say it is you who i mentioned.

LOVES! :D tatatatatatata!